About marriage and all the maybes...

Yes. I know that I am a person with a level of existentialism established in the deepest, and that's why I question and analyze a looooot and this time is not different ...(Based on the above, I am eternally grateful of the writing as a space that support my thoughts but that is another issue ..)


Today came the news that one of my best friends is going to get married.

This makes me extremely happy because I knew that this proposal responds to her wishes from the beginning of the relationship with who will be her future husband and her desires as a child, when we were delighted with the well-worn dream of "Disney Princess".


But the truth, after the joy and the natural astonishment at the announcement a lot of questions began to emerge ...​​




Many people between the ages of 25 and 35 begin to formalize their relationships, through this "commitment" we have created, called marriage, which not only allows formalizing legal issues between two people, but also it gives the couple a different status, something like a connotation of seriousness, purity and real love.


My question is this...

Why have we allowed the violation of a feeling as deeply intimate as love, by social conceptions, in such a way that a relationship "becomes" something different by concretizing a sacrament?

then another one emerges, instantaneously ..


It will not be that perhaps the pressure to obtain that "statute" that the society gives you for the fact of putting a label to a feeling generates more psychological pressure to want to obtain it?



Because, perhaps, if marrying was not linked to a way of apprehending a relationship or love in itself, there would be no such tension on the part of some people (mostly women) to achieve the commitment "at that level". (As if love made a metamorphosis when leaving a Civil Registry office!).


However, before continuing, I would like to make an important scope ... Personally, I am a fervent defender of marriage, as a union of two people, voluntarily and without pressure, with the intention to (in addition to legal and etc.) take their relationship to another name and maybe, more difficult to dissolve.


But ... that's the reach. No pressure.


Why between 25 and 35 is when the largest number of couples get married?

Is it that all, coincidentally, find love in that period of time in their lives?

They did not know love previously, or will they not know it later?


So....


Social pressure does not really influence the decision to unite your life with another forever.??? (read "the sentence" 50 times if necessary).


Now, I go back ...


Should the pressure of a social paradigm influence the decision to unite life with another, based on what is expected according to age, stage of life in which one is or, worse yet, socio-economic level or others?

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I believe that the love to another person, the decision to share experiences and the only and most precious thing that one person have, which is LIFE, should not be influenced by any type of social paradigm, because it conditions and can predestinate the person to the most painful unhappiness .

And that based on what?

Simply to respond to what is established, to what is "acceptable and good", to "ideal".


Love is...


No, I could not really define what "love is". But I do know that it goes beyond what society imposes as "acceptable and good".


And, even though 20 years ago it was "weird" not to be married at a certain age, I am grateful that in this generation that term is lengthening or even being annulled, so that the acquisition of a commitment so deep it ceases to be a theme that provides a status, a condition or a label, but rather responds to the genuine longing and love of those who want to establish it, leaving out of it the unfortunate "what will people say".


But I am even more grateful that such a pure feeling stops being manipulated, as I know it will be in future generations, where we will be hard to explain why it was wrong not to be married at 45, or simply to be single.

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